Royal Rumble 2013 Ramblings

IMAGE CREDIT: WWE.com

So, umm, yeah. You might've heard that The Rock did beat CM Punk to become WWE Champion last night. In unrelated news, I've suddenly become severely depressed and have started comfort eating for some reason.

It was pretty much inevitable, yet it still hurts. (IT. HUUURRRTTTTSSS.) But that's that, the whole Title reign is done with and I we have to move on. It was fun while it lasted, though.

The match itself was good. Towards the end, Rock went for a People's Elbow, but the lights went out, and he somehow ended up through a table. Punk managed to beat him at that point, but stupid Mr. Mc-stupidhead-Mahon had to stick his toupee or whatever in. He was going to strip Punk, but at Rock's behest restarted the match which allowed Rock to win. 


I feel your pain, my friend. 

Other Royal Rumble 2013 Ramblings:
- The other inevitable happened and John Cena won the Royal Rumble match itself. I'm not surprised, and I can't really say I'm too upset. It was inevitable, and there weren't a lot of other choices that weren't as predictable as Cena anyway.

The predictability of Cena's win didn't take away from the match. It was a lot of fun. Chris Jericho entered as Dolph Ziggler's opponent at #2, and the crowd went absolutely bonkers for the dude and his new ink. I know for a fact that when Jericho entered, the entire world went “IS HE BACK FOR GOOD OMG OMG OMG!” I did it. Admit it, you did, too. That remains to be seen, but Jericho definitely wasn't just there as a Booker T or Diesel entrant. He lasted a long time. And if he's back for a while, it's great. If not, we got our money's worth here.

Goldust and the Godfather also made surprise appearances, but they didn't do quite as well for themselves. In fact, Godfather was in and out in quick fashion.

Kofi Kingston got his highlight reel spot in when he was knocked off the apron by Dolph Ziggler, landed on Tensai's back and was left on the commentary table. He then used JBL's chair as a Pogo stick to get himself back to the ring. Two questions: 1. Why did he not just stay on the table? He was in no danger of being eliminated, because no-one could get to him. Just stick it out until everyone else is gone and then get back in. 2. Did he not think to use the barricade like John Morrison did? Come on, Kofi. OBVIOUS.

Daniel Bryan and Kane were a highlight of the Rumble. Bryan got Kane eliminated, but then Bryan himself almost got eliminated and landed on Kane in an... interesting position. The look on Bryan's face with his legs wrapped around Kane's torso saying “put me back in the ring” was priceless, and it put a smile on mine. Fuck what I said, let these two stay together forever and a day.

Aside from that, the rest was fine. Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara returned from who knows where. Ryback got #30 and was last in with Cena, but ultimately got eliminated.

- Elsewhere, Team Hell No retained the Tag Team Titles against The Rhodes Scholars in a good match.

- And Alberto Del Rio and Big Show had an enjoyable Last Man Standing match. Del Rio ended up retaining when Ricardo Rodriguez duct taped Big Show's feet together on the ropes. Sounds like cheating, but in fairness, Show did throw Ricardo into the barricade really nastily. And speaking of nasty things, Show's Chokeslam to Del Rio through a table from a piece of the set looked vile. As I say, enjoyable match with the right winner, I think.

Overall, a highly enjoyable Rumble this year. The Rumble match itself was a lot of fun, and the surprise entrants really were a surprise, at least to me. I didn't see Jericho coming, especially. I can't say I'm thrilled with Rock beating CM Punk (in fact, I'm not even mildly happy for him), but I get it. Rock vs. Cena is where the money is at, blah blah blah.

The Road to WrestleMania is underway. But before I can start to enjoy that, excuse me while I go and sob uncontrollably into this Best in the World t-shirt.